In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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