do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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