Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Fuck appropriateness.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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