Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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