are you still at the devil's house?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
