this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
