he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
