return my video game
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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