elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
