i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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