So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
