That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
