so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
