the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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