I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
