Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Buhtt sex?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
