You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
