Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
