Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
