I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
