I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
