Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
