so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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