Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
