just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
