it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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