They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
