im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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