hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
