I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
