But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
