made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
