what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
