wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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