We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She's the barista slut.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
