Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
