i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
