In the future we'll all be gay
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
