Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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