dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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