This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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