He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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