she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
