New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
