Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
