i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
