quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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