dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
