Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
