Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
True college students do jello shots in the library
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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