dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
