Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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