I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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